Archive for March, 2008

Over halfway there…

Posted in Cancer Life on March 20, 2008 by lawler
That’s right, I’m cruising at 55% of my goal for fundraising for Relay For Life. That means that I’ve reached $1100! But, we still need to get to $2000, which means $900 more — can we do it? Only with your help…
(I’m currently listed as number three among the top individual participants, and am number six if you include teams.)

No news is good news

Posted in Cancer Life on March 13, 2008 by lawler

That’s what they say, and I’m going along with it. Other than a discussion about some strange pains I’ve been having here and there and my own admission that it could be nothing more than a heightened sense of my mortality (read: increased hypochondria), questioning the nurse about my always low heart rate, and an uncomfortable moment where the nurse called herself fat in not so many words, there is little to report of my visit with Dr. Arbaje today.

I did have another set of chest xrays, which came back clean, and my tumor markers have remained level, though still not down to normal levels.

That, in a nutshell, is today’s report.

Thanks for your support — and your readership.

that nagging feeling

Posted in Cancer Life on March 12, 2008 by lawler

Well, first off, let me just say, holy cow, I had no idea so many folks had donated to Relay For Life on my behalf since my last whiny post! For some reason, I have not been getting the update emails from the site, so I thought the whole campaign had gone fallow. But, I underestimated my friends and family, of course, and I have now raised just over 50% of my goal of $2000!

Many thanks to each and every one of you who have donated! I’m routinely amazed by your generosity. Really. Thanks.

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Tomorrow I go to see the oncologist once again. The appointments have become so much rarer (every six weeks) that I frequently forget about cancer altogether, and don’t know how to characterize its role in my life any longer. When I say I have cancer it doesn’t sound right–almost like a lie (and when Dawn hears it she shakes her head and says, “no, you don’t”). But I can’t quite say it, I can’t quite make myself say that I had cancer. I haven’t, it can honestly be said, been given any sort of “all clear” from my doctor. In fact, during the last visit, after Dawn had left the room to deal with paperwork, I asked Dr. Arbaje: “Are you still concerned about that unidentified abberation in my lung that we saw on the last PET scan?”

“Yes,” he nodded somewhat gravely, “I am still concerned.”

So, now you understand the header. That’s what cancer has become in my life: a nagging feeling. A reminder that while I feel pretty good, and have slipped back into life as it was (more or less) before the diagnosis, I’m still technically a cancer patient, and every once in a while that pops into my head and says Hello! Remember me?!?

I’ll be sure to write tomorrow to post the latest medical update after my appointment. Until then…